- Getting several 7 long killstreaks
- Ballistic knifing people in the face
- Shooting an explosive tipped crossbow bolt and then watching as they run and around and blow up
- Kill someone by throwing a grenade into their face (no explosion mind, just straight crushing of the skull with 3kg of pure metal)
I whole-heartedly love the Call of Duty series. It provides me with competition, encourages me to figure out the human mind, tests my reflexes, tests my ability to contain my rage, and most importantly, lets me blow off the heads of other people.
Some of you may now be screwing your faces, brains trying to click all the gears and cogs into place to figure out why a Viking that could single-handedly decimate every Spartan there ever was armed only with a sewing needle and a sock, would feel a need for competition.
Despite reading in a recent article that summarily dismissed Black Ops as a game that could only be enjoyed by pimply youths who didn't get out much (would have loved to have posted a link, but it seems the pure bullshit this guy was spewing would have been taken off the site due to the thousands of complaints he would have received for being an arrogant tool), I have to argue this premise:
Competition is what makes online fun, and because no-one can compete with me in real life I have to settle with a simulated scenario.
Is it any less of an achievement because its a game? Golf and cricket are inventions of Odin as a punishment for some sin some Viking committed aeon's ago, and for some reason people love that shit. It doesn't matter it's as boring as watching a sloth race, people still poor hundreds and thousands, if not millions of dollars, into these sports.
I threw a grenade in a guys face and killed him. That is not boring, in any way, shape or form.
If I wasn't a Viking and I had a regular 8:30-4:30 job as an editor in a legal publishing firm, I would still love the sense of competition. After a long day trying to find semi-colons and invisible text, the very last thing I might want to do (if this scenario was real, and it's not) is go somewhere to do strenuous physical activity. Maybe I want to feel the same sense of competition and achievement, of domination over another human being from the comfort of my own home.
And with no respect and absolutely no refrain, anyone that thinks that gamers are still these fat, sad, lonely stereotypes deserve a friendly Viking word of advice:
FUCK YOU.
Black Ops is just like the rest of the Call of Duty series, but it's so much more. If you remember my previous blog on shooters, every reference I made to what made Call of Duty great applies to Black Ops, except they've managed to improve and expand on everything.
The first thing you'll notice different, and the most fun and awesome thing, is that you can now dive. Diving is awesome. It serves very little practical purpose, but its incredibly funny watching five or six players simultaneously diving on a flag or objective to capture it.
The second thing you'll notice is something I originally wasn't a fan of but am growing to love immensely, and that is the amount of customisation that goes into your character. For instance, your playercard picture is insanely customisable, and after seeing a picture of a man fistng a llama with a love heart above his head, I knew that this was something I could sink my teeth into. Not that I'm into llama porn.
The reciticles (pointed sights on guns) are now interchangeable, which is great because some people (like a certain Viking) fucking hated the plain red dot site as it was almost impossible to see where the enemy went if they moved even slightly to the side. I much prefer the inverted triangles or the nuclear symbol, as I just find it easier to play that way.
Weapons are still unlocked at certain levels, but attachments are now no longer earned by achievements, and instead are earned by a monetary system within the game. I find this to be a much, MUCH better system than before as I can only guess at the amount of hours I put into getting some of the attachments on guns only to find shortly after my ability to use said weapon had flown out of the window and I had to start again with a new and less infuriating weapon.
My two absolute favourite changes to the game are the shotguns and wager matches. Shotguns are now primary weapons, and due to a change in map design, shotguns are now useful in all maps.
Wager matches are games in which players bet their in-game money on their winning the match. My favourite wager match thus far is 'One in the Hole', which sounds like a porno but is actually a game in which players are restricted to a one shot kill pistol with only one bullet and their cq weapon (knives). When a player kills another they gain another bullet. The maps are small but not restrictive, and the tension in the games is HUGE. Ianardo, a man I've seen stop a speeding Buffalo with a stare, froze up at one point out of tension.
He then went on to get the most amazing killstreak I've seen in a different game type, but there you have it.
The thing I hate about Black Ops is the either the Playstation Network or whatever system Treyarch is running for their multiplayer. I'm so sick of getting d/c, or having trouble joining a friends game, or having the connection interrupted when I WAS FUCKING WINNING ODIN DAMMIT!
I'm giving CoD Black Ops 4.5/5 crossbow bolts in an enemies face, because it's just that awesome to do.
Til next time, the gamer with horns on his hat.
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