Gaming Service Announcement

Dear readers, there are so many things I want to write, but in todays blog, I must address this. No matter how enraged you are at a fellow gamer online, never EVER contact them. Ever.

This is for two reasons. The first, as I've found out, is that if you have a simple proposition to put forward, such as asking someone to turn off their shitty rnb/punk/metal/hip hop sound track, or to stop using a glitch in the gamer to ruin what would have been an enjoyable experience had they not cheated, the proposition will be ignored.

The type of person to institute such behaviour on a public network is obviously having issues at home. To be fair, if I was their parent I would beat them as well. And while I know there is a mute button, one of the best ways of no longer listening to other peoples shitty music while playing is to sing it loudly and badly into your microphone. This can backfire though, as you may be in the winning Viking Glee Club as the lead vocalist, and people start requesting some of their favourite tunes.

The second reason I re-discovered last night, when a fellow gamer called me, in no uncertain terms, a 'CAMPING CUNT!!!'.

This was the title of a message he sent me, with no body explaining why he had made such an accusation. And as he has some anonymity, and decided to send me a message with his addy, I can now legally broadcast allllllll over the web. Everyone, say hello to: wesley_snipes69.

I can't even begin to explain how aggressively stupid this is. I am about 99% sure that he's not actually Wesley Snipes, but in the one percent likelihood that he is, I'd like to give a shout out. Blade fucking rocked until the third instalment. What the hell were you thinking?

However, there are two sides to every story, and as a just and fair Viking, I will let you know his.

I was defending a flag in COD Modern Warfare 2 in a position where, upon the flag being taken, I could quickly pop up and shoot them. This position is incredibly vulnerable, as a grenade or rocket launched in my general vicinity turn me into chunks of Viking. As there are two very easy ways to get to my position, it's also incredibly easy to sneak up on me and stab me in the back. In fact, when I am on the opposing side, I always launch a grenade or rocket into the general vicinity to make sure no-one else is there.

I must have shot Mr. Snipes at one time because soon after the match was over I received that incredibly insulting message.

I will post the back and forth, adjusting my slight grammatical errors as I would have done had the PS messaging system not been a piece of shit:

wesley_snipes69: CAMPING CUNT!!!

Viking Gamer: What do you think they do in real warfare, you retarded inbred fuck?

wesley_snipes69: dw its real its not a game fucking idiot

Viking Gamer: The whole point is to be tactical. Your side can camp as well for a defensive stance. You're too stupid to argue with. Please castrate yourself so you don't further infest the genepool.

wesley_snipes69: rofl how long that take you to think of and type you sad cunt

Viking Gamer: Took me a while to type, but not that long to think of. It didn't take me that long to think of because unlike you my IQ isn't stuck in the double digits. If you plan on reproducing, make sure it's with your mother or sister so your child has a legitimate claim for retardation.

wesley_snipes69: faggot trying to act all mature fucking soft cock

There are just so many things wrong with this person that explaining them would take years of writing and a team of pyschologists to explain.

And we come to the second conclusion: Never argue with someone more stupid than you. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

I think my favourite thing about Mr. 69 is his inability to separate the difference between someone speaking eloquently and succinctly, and someone trying to be mature. Mr. 69, please report to the police that your parents have well and truly failed.

Due to the fact I'm still halfway through reviewing Monster Hunter Tri, I've decided to rate Mr. 69 instead.


Mr. 69 is an idiot, and if you own a PS3, feel free to drop him a line.

Mark's Marks: 0.00005/5

0.000025 is for managing to somehow disprove Darwins theory, and the other 0.000025 is for giving something to write about.

Til next time, from the gamer with horns on his hat.