Lost Planet 2

You knew I loved Killzone. You know I hated Monster Hunter Tri.

But in between those revelations, they got together. They dated for a while, then had a passionate and torrid affair that shocked onlookers and made a mockery of love.

The child they bore was Lost Planet 2. And it's a very healthy child.

Having only played the original Lost Planet as a demo, which didn't include very much of what I'm seeing in its progeny. What it did include, however, was a vast, white environment, with so much whiteness that it almost sent me snowblind.

Being in the snow about 90% of the year round gave me an appreciation for that demo, as the level designers really captured the nothingness that is a snow-blasted barren landcape.

The lack of any monsters or people to kill also really captured what it's like living in a barren, boring, snow-blasted landscape. It also disproved the theory that guns can make anything interesting, unless you count shooting at pixelated snow interesting, in which case I can only assume, along with the rest of mankind, that you area probably the most boring person alive.

Lost Planet 2 did the first five minutes right, for one. I'm in the snow, with a group of people (other players, but i'll get to that), and we have to activate some data posts. I'm not sure what a data post is, but I'm sure that I've just walked over and activated a mech suit with two hugely intimidating gatling guns attached to it. Walking through the white and markless environment I'm suddenly ambushed by huge, weird flower things that are spurting out monsters. I mow them down mercilessly, their remnants re-powering my thermal gear.

Upon finding the data post I dismount my death-dealing dual gatling gun mech, only to be prompted with the offer of taking one of the gatling guns with me.

Declining the invitation, I activate the data post, and continue my mission, which involves me using a grappling hook to hoist myself up a mountain side.

After reaching the summit, fellow troops that are descending from a chopper is attacked and subsequently blown to hell by a giant monster. Running to meet the enemy head on, I fire at its weak spots, which glow bright orange from its natural thermal insides.

It falls heavily as it dies, turns to a stone like substance, and once shot again, explodes into tiny pieces.

Mind-blowing awesomeness.

So that's the first five minutes, which should be enticing enough for you.

But as I know you're a hard crowd to please, there are several other reasons this is a great game.

The next chapter in the game takes you into a lush rainforest environment, where your travels into the wilderness are continually hampered not only by monsters, but other worse monsters, (Not Vikings) but your fellow man! And it is here, in the next chapter (we call it the 'start' in Viking) that the true wonder of this game is revealed.

The graphics are beautiful and big and the environment is extremely complimentary to the game. Never being able to see too far ahead of your current position, you must have all senses pricked to be ready for an enemy ambush.

For a Viking an ambush is like a surprise party. Everyone there has come for you (in one way or another) and you get to be the centre of attention until the mindless bloodbath is over, and you shout 'hip hip hooray'! three time so you know you had a great time.

While an initial summary of the environment may lead you to think the game is a little linear, it is dense enough and accommodating enough as to feel you are exploring a vast wilderness as opposed to following a pre-destined course.

The addition of the grappling hook gives players an extra dimension to the environment as well. Want to see what's at the top of the waterfall? Do it. Want to run off a building and not die? The grappling hook will save you. Want to use it on a giant, angry monster? I'll explain that further later.

Fighting humans as well as monsters really puts the game into a great story. Man is divided on a strange and hostile planet, and everything except your team-mates are against you.

As if prophesised by yours truly, the game is nearly exactly how I described Monster Hunter Tri should have been.

The monsters don't move like they were made from play dough, nor do they look like they were originally drawn by a child with no thumbs and an accountants imagination.

They move eratically, fluidly, aggressively. They climb, jump, crawl. They do what creatures do when attacked or facing an unknown aggressor.

When fighting the bigger creatures, there is nothing more fun than using your grappling hook (I told you i'd get to it) to close the distance between you in a heartbeat, before shooting their weakpoints, backflipping off them and continuing to pour lead into their vitals.

The variety of weapons is thus far one that is pragmatic if not imaginative. I don't want to give the wrong impression, however, as using a shotgun to relocate an enemies face is incredibly satisfying and, somehow, more 'real' in this game then any other I've played.

I think the fact the weapons are so...themselves (machine gun=machine gun) that we aren't as appreciative of how great it looks to see fellow players and AI alike move and shoot realistically.

What I think makes this game especially great is the campaign mode. If you decide to play online, which you will about 90% of the time, you can play by yourself with AI helping you (and they actually help you, which in itself is a breakthrough) or another player in the game-o-verse may drop in to help you out.

Before I score this game, I have to ask:

Capcom, you developed both of these games. Why is a game not devoted entirely to killing monsters have better monster killings than a game where the ONLY point is to kill monsters!? CAN YOU TELL ME THAT CAPCOM!?

Why is it always left to the Vikings to speak up!? Slavery? Vikings stopped it. War? Vikings stopped them all. Raids on villages? It's a cultural thing, say anything against it and you're probably racist.

AWFUL VIDEO GAMES NOT LIVING UP TO THEIR POINT AND TITLE!? CAPCOM, YOU'RE NEXT!

But before the reckoning Capcom, Lost Planet 2 is great fun, and if playing with your friends, so much better.

I'm giving this game 4/5 limbs shot or torn off enraged giant monters.

Til next time, the gamer with horns in his hat.